Everyone stop what you’re doing right now and say a prayer that you don’t encounter these assassins. The Miami PD bike squad has been activated to handle “large crowds and protests”. Labeled as the “elite of the elite”, legend has it that they can write parking tickets while on the move. The perfect mixture of Lance Armstrong and Paul Blart mall cop.

Paul Blart Got A Promotion

A Miami PD bike squad, really? Watch the video above, how long do you think he practiced that brake slide? Clearly longer than he practiced actually dismounting the bike. What’re next, rollerblades? This biker gang will be sure to keep criminals up at night. Something tells me these guys aren’t underpaid. To be honest, this whole scenario reminds me of one of the best scenes from Django Unchained. Watch this clip below and try not to laugh.